The Engagement Ring Fantasy.

He walked her in, she was surprised to find her close friends at the reception, deep inside she mumbled, “What’s happening here?” She kept on mumbling these words as she followed Kola’s move, “Hmm… I can’t seem to understand this” she looked straight down the hall then she shouted, “Titi, you are here? I expected you to be in school receiving lectures, what are you guys up to?” Suddenly, she and Kola found themselves at the centre of the reception, Kola knelt down on one knee proclaiming the usual saying, “Will you marry me?”  Tolu became calm and speechless although in this motionless state Tolu was trying to inspect and to thoroughly examine the quality of the ring, she wanted to be sure that it was the same kind that she had always dreamt of for an engagement ring. On her return from her self-enthused inspection then without restraint nor stammer, she screamed, “My diamond ring, yes! I will marry you” and so, everyone clapped in celebration of the engagement.

Engagement proposal is now the order of the day. An average lady wants to be proposed to, if possible with the kind of ring a cool dude gave her cute friend. Well, who doesn’t want to be proposed to? I wonder if there is any lady as such.

But, do you know a lot of guys use their savings or even borrow to make this happen? Recently, I saw a post on Facebook, “Another irony of life, one person buys the diamond ring but another person wears it.” I was surprised by this post, I wondered why a guy will complain about giving his own sweetheart a diamond ring or even a no-name ring, I then commented on the post: “E joor ooo, there is no irony in this one ooo, because it is your choice oooo, the person would have rather bought a GL ring so that the irony will be erased.”

Should proposals be a norm? Should a guy force himself to provide engagement ring? If a guy cannot afford an expensive engagement ring or an ordinary engagement ring shouldn’t he proceed with his marriage intentions?

Some years back this was never the norm. I could remember my aunties got married without them wearing a ring around for months, so what is the big deal with proposals and engagement ring? Of which, this engagement ring is the type that would still be given to the lady on the day of the engagement ceremony(also known as the traditional wedding). Why are people now so drunken with this show off that clouds the sky?

I believe giving engagement ring or proposals should not be a norm, after all, where would one place the engagement ring after one has gotten a complete wedding ring – wedding band and engagement ring – on the marriage day? For me, I never knew the purpose a proposal ring would serve after the marriage ceremony not until I posted it on my Whatsapp status update to get the opinion of friends.

Some people are of the opinion that the three rings are to be worn together or better still it is a room for using the engagement rings interchangeably – that is if they are of the same design and colour, if not, then it becomes useless.

On my part, I love a nice diamond ring for my wedding ring set but I don’t mind if I don’t get a proposal ring it is just a norm we seem to follow. I feel the European life style has eaten deep into our consciousness.

I would love to advise the men to know the taste of their women. You can both reach a compromise that even if you cannot afford a diamond ring you can still give something presentable and nice and if it is that you cannot afford to organize a proposal or putting an engagement ring before the final wedding celebration then it is left to you both to dialogue and decide.

Giving engagement rings should not be a cause for complaining, unhealthiness, but giving engagement rings should be done out of love, interest, delight and joy. Offer the token of love without the fear of debt, inadequacy, jealousy or envy.

Note that if you borrow for the purpose of proposing to her, you might always borrow to please her or take care of her in marriage, she and this should not be a status quo as a man.

For the single ladies, what do you prefer, an engagement ring and wedding ring or you don’t need the proposal ring you are just interested in the wedding ring set as I am?

Notes:

E joor- Means “please” in Yoruba

Ooo- it is just for emphasis on the words or statement

GL: is an acronym for a ring brand name, “Green Lantern” rings.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

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11 thoughts on “The Engagement Ring Fantasy.

  1. Ayoko Kola

    Fisayo wrote:

    “….giving engagement rings should be done out of love, interest, delight and joy. Offer the token of love without the fear of debt, inadequacy, jealousy or envy”.

    My Comments :
    Thanks Fisayo, what a lovely piece.

    The extract above means a lot more to me. I hope readers sees the inherent ‘diamond’ in this.

    A message well passed.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “A diamond ring without a committed heart, is not different from a golden casket with decaying corpse.”

    This is a beautiful piece Fisayo is indeed crushing the diamond stone to find the diamond heart…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Olajide

    giving engagement ring is a borrowed culture. i will rather prefer to work my way buy her a car as an engagement ting or something she will value for life thn engagement ring.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Tomilola

    I think this proposal of a thing has eaten deep into our culture. What is the big deal with proposals anyway? Like you rightly said, I remember people used to get married back in the days without a proposal or an engagement ring. If you ask me, I would say that MOST of these proposals we see today are done to outdo/impress the friends of the couple. I’m not crazy about a guy going on his knees asking me to marry him when we already both know we’re heading for marriage. If it comes, fine. If it doesn’t, fine. It’s not a do-or-die affair.
    Nice writeup, Fisayo. You echoed my thoughts 👏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Tomi…. “I’m not crazy about a guy going on his knees asking me to marry him when we already both know we’re heading for marriage.” And this in quote also struck me. Thanks for the comment

      Like

  5. Jabie

    Lovely read. Proposal ring seems to be a big deal now and It kinda seems I’m the only one who didn’t see it that way. Anyways this beautiful post. It’s food for thought. Lemme go & come

    Like

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